Now Playing Tracks

  • DC:

    Wonder Woman is too difficult to find a movie audience for-

  • Marvel:

    YO YOU LIKE BLACK WIDOW? HERE SHE IS IN THE NEXT CAPTAIN AMERICA MOVIE WITH A TON OF SCREENTIME AND MAJOR ASSKICKING SKILLS

  • DC:

    We can't allow the lesbians in Batwoman to get married in the comic, sorry.

  • Marvel:

    HEY GUESS WHAT WE'RE GONNA FEATURE A GAY WEDDING ON THE COVER OF AN X-MEN ISSUE

  • DC:

    The new direction for storytelling needs to be dark, gritty, mature and cynical.

  • Marvel:

    DUDE CHECK IT OUT LOKI GOES SPEED DATING IS THAT NOT THE BEST SHIT EVER

  • DC:

    After years of rumors, the Superman/Batman movie is finally coming, but with a new actor and suit for Batman and MAYBE a cameo from Wonder Woman.

  • Marvel:

    PHASE 2 MOTHERFUCKERS EVERYONE IS IN EVERYONE'S MOVIE AND THERE AIN'T NO STOPPIN US NOW

  • DC:

    We can try to add maybe one or two 'people of color' to our lineup...maybe...

  • Marvel:

    NEW MS MARVEL THAT'S MUSLIM AMERICAN, BITCHES.

  • DC:

    We feel no problem with Batman's vengeful personality being like wet cardboard.

  • Marvel:

    NEW LATINA GHOST RIDER WHO SEEKS VENGEANCE WHILE TAKING HIS AWEET LIL BRO FOR ICE CREAM

  • DC:

    We can't mention any superhero titles in our movies, that's ridiculous.

  • Marvel:

    FUCK YEAH YOU WANT A RACOON VOICED BY BRADLEY COOPER WITH A GIANT GUN? YOU WANT VIN DIESEL PLAYING A TREE? AMY FUCKING POND PLAYING A SEXY BALD SPACE PIRATE? HERE YOU FUCKERS GO

  • DC:

    Our fanbase is mostly white males, I'm sure our focus is-

  • Marvel:

    NEW SHE HULK LINE WHERE SHE GOES TO COURT THEN SAVES NEW YORK

  • DC:

    Wait-

  • Marvel:

    NEW FEMALE THOR

  • DC:

    I didn't-

  • Marvel:

    NEW BLACK CAPTAIN AMERICA

  • Marvel:

    TAKE ALL THIS COOL SHIT MARVEL BE OUTIE

  • Marvel:

    PEACE

hathooks:

decolonizingminds:

empressmo:

amourencours:

WAIT. How in THE FUCK did the Oxford Dictionary say Miley ho ass Cyrus is the origin of the word “twerk” when the Ying Yang Twins got a damn song from 2000 called “Whistle While You Twurk”????

Yessss!!!!! I have been saying this. People are fucking dumb.

this is why dont fuck with dictionaries or history books. All of it is white fanfiction

 accurate.

(Source: perlexnoire)

afterellen:

The Best and Worst of Cosmo’s Lesbian Sex Tips

Much ado has been made about Cosmo’s new listicle of 28 lesbian sex positions to try NOW. Skimming through the legendary lady mags foray into making pictures of straight looking illustrated girls doing gay looking sex actions above the perky yet explicit descriptions we’ve come to expect from Cosmo, I was neither offended nor titillated.

I feel no need to wax poetic on how Cosmo STILL DOESN’T UNDERSTAND ME or start scissoring madly while festooned in floral garlands because the big bad lady mag told me so. Frankly I’m amused and entertained by the sincere, if hetero-peppy, shot at reppin’ my kind.

In that spirit of good natured mockery, I clarified and decorated the 15 best and worst of Cosmo’s lesbian sex tips.

Alternate IF/THEN Plotline…

(There should be no spoilers, but why would you want to read this if you don’t know the show?)

A third, tempestuous, and more lesbian storyline in which instead of the not-sucky, awkward horse, Liz takes up Anne’s offer of another mode of transportation and begins to go by Lizzy…they move in together and get a dog, and lesbian hijinks and drama ensue.  Lizzy’s neuroses get talked through to death so she can somewhat manage them; she learns to have fun.  Goes the academia route successfully. When the relationship inevitably ends badly, Anne and Kate end up back together.  The three remain close friends.  Elizabeth runs into Josh in the park whilst playing with the dog she got stuck with in the split; they get married, etc. THE END.

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